Saturday, 17 January 2009

Tonsiloliths- The bane of my existence.

Froopert here. You know what tonsiloliths are? They are otherwise refered to as "tonsil stones". They are the most vile, disgusting and putrid thing that comes out of the human body.

So, I have had something poking my tonsil region for quite a while. I would take a flashlight and inspect said region only to find that there is nothing there. Yesterday however, I felt such a sharp sensation that I decided that I will not quit until the foul inhabitant of my tonsil was evicted.

Sure enough, when I pulled the skin back with an outstretched pin, there was a small dot of yellow matter peeping out (I want to throw upwriting this). After many minutes of prodding, hacking, dribbling and literal tears, A LARGE and STINK mass flew out of my piehole. It was horrible. I thought I would pass out. It seems that the particle was stuck therein for so long that it was no longer yellow but brown. Imagine my disbelief (and wooziness) as such a terrible discovery!

I hope you want to throw up now.

The end.

BTW- My stalker's name is Count Ruprecht Lestat Bathory Tepes von Khevenhuller and allegedly is of noble blood. I have never met this person and he is in the habit of speaking as if we are long lost lovers or as if we were together in another life. Dearest Count, please be informed that I have lived only a mere 22 years thus far and therefore most probably am not the person you are thinking of. Perhaps you should re-consider your stalkerage of me.

Additionally, why are you ill and what are your pills for? Everyone wants to know.

The End.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

11 comments:

JijiN3k0 said...

Tonsiloliths are the most nastiest things ever. I'm very sorry for you. I hope you do not have them frequently because that would mean your breath wreaks.

Frooples & Froopert said...

No JijiN3k0, I only get them after illness. Like after I recover from a cold or something. Perhaps dead cells are the cause of mine. And yes, they are the nastiest. Some people have them so long stuck there that they getrd like an actual stone. When I get them, they are soft which I guess is a good sign since it means it hasn't been living in me for extended periods of time.

JijiN3k0 said...

Gross.

Kadhine said...

That's disgusting - I'm sorry you have to suffer through that.
But it could be worse, some people (maybe Anoneemuz) get fecaliths (did I spell that right?)
Fecal matter that sat in your intestines for so that it petrified!!!
And of course the doctor has to remove it - bet he hates his job then!

Frooples & Froopert said...

Ugh, this is Froolples,

Froopert that is a gross story! I hope u just made that one up for our 5 readers.

Anyhow, I just wanted to let Mr. Anoneemuz know that he's a sick ole buzzard who needs to find a nice cadaver from one of his' illustrious friends' morgues and take her out on a date.

LEAVE ME ALONE CHARLES ANONEEMUZ THE 3RD!!!

Anonymous said...

My oasis in a parched desert,

My dearest Froopert. Your story is heartbreaking... I didn't know my precious one was suffering such torment at the hands of the tonsllit...tunsilloth...tonspthpht.

When we are once more reunited, I will forever cure you of all that ails you.
With my pills, we can both break the bounds of mortality.

My sweet, why do you doubt that you and I are meant for each other?
Don't you think you are worthy to be the bride of a nobleman?

I assure you my darling, on my knees (if I was well enough to go down on my knees) That you are the one.

22 is a perfect age - you are ripe and delicious - brimming over with young fresh blood and soft meat...

Never mind that last part darling...I was just joking.

As soon as I get my pills, I will be well enough to fly to your side. Then we shall experience the pleasures of eternity....

With undying love and affection,

Count Ruprecht.

Anonymous said...

UH GEED gyul.
You stink eh!
I real checking for you, you know baby.
I find this blog real orn like corn.
I does read this blog every time I go in the internet caffe.

You does use some real big words girl. Like they teaching you real good in junior sec.

So you have morning shiff or evening shiff? I could carry you home you know.

I is a boss man in the bess maxi on the road. i go wait for you outside the school, just tell me what time.

But I can't come tomorrow, cause I haf to carry meh mudda in the health centre.

I gone.

Kadhine said...

Count Ruprecht, u sound a bit vampire-ish...
Still, it's nice to be loved, so Froopert, I suggest you take up the Count on his offer - he sounds like he'll die any minute and you will probably be his sole heir...

Hello to the last commentor, What is your name?
I must say you have an interesting slang. I could barely understand you.
What part of the world are you from?

Abi said...

Aghh! I going to vomit right now!

Geena-Davis-Fan-2008 said...

Wow Abi, you're a wuss. That story was totally not gross- I have MUCH grosser stories- Let me know if you wanna hear them.

JijiN3k0 said...

Hi Kadhine,

As a Trini to the bone, I am most certainly 100% sure that the Ratnesh idiot is a Trini also- sadly, even MORE to the bone than me- possibly to the bone marrow. However, he seems to be stuck in the 80's/early 90's