Saturday, 17 January 2009

Who are the stalkers? or can you say 'foot in mouth?'

So apparently I've commited a faux pas and insulted my stalkers.
I now need to attempt to extricate my foot from my mouth.

My "friend" the whittler who is currently making money selling his wooden teeth on this blog is called Earl. His full name is Earl Buck Bobby Jimmy Bo Kincade. Quite a mouthful.

For the sake of time, we will call him Earl and hopefully he will sign his posts as Earl too.
I have decided he can sell his wooden teeth on this blog. I think it will be beneficial for both parties to join forces. To what end, I have no idea.

My other "friend" is apparently a polyglot Lawyer and his appellation is as follows:
*deep breath*
Charles Ruthven Oliver Benjamin Anoneemuz (wth?) Hansen the third.
This gentleman is not selling any products or services on this blog at the moment.

I mistook the lawyer, who for brevity's sake I will refer to as Charles Hansen the Third, for Earl the Whittler.

So Mr. Charles Hansen III, I am sorry for speaking about your rear end, and making threats to your person. Also, I hope you will forgive me for making disparaging remarks about your education... I will however appreciate it if you don't harass my other valued readers.

Earl, I hope you are not offended and will continue to read our blog. You are one of our first readers and I will not like to loose you - please don't take that sentence in the wrong way - PLEASE.

My sister, Froopert, also has "special" readers who seem to interested in her words, but I don't think I have the energy to try to explain. I'll leave that up to her - my brain is tired. In the words of one of our readers " I need my pills."


Thank you Gemma Longman for letting me use your great photo
Here's the link to more of her very interesting photos -

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Kadhine said...

This is beginning to get very interesting (and complicated).
Thank you Frooples for allowing me to continue my business relationship with Earl the whittler on you blog. I really appreciate it.
Best of luck with getting your readers' names and identities in order!

Anonymous said...

Dear Frooples,

I would prefer to be referred to as Anoneemuz since all my family members share my other names and it gets confusing.

When I was born, the nurse was not an English speaker and since my parents had not chosen a name for me as yet, the doctor told her to put "Anonymous". Being unable to speak English as well as it seemingly being her first day, my new name became "Anoneemuz".

I happen to like this name very much as it differentiates me from less worthy and talented humans in my family.

I know though that you will be quite a wonderful addition to my pathetic excuse for a family. And do not worry, I will keep you safe and far away from those losers.

Forever yours,

Frooples & Froopert said...


Your story is indeed an interesting one.
I was wondering, since you said you have "less worthy and talented HUMANS in your family" does it mean you have worthy animal or plant life in your family?

I am flattered by your desire to include me in your clan of animals, birds and fish, but I must decline the invitation.

You do not fit the criteria I've set down for a suitable companion. I'm truly sorry and hope you are not offended.

I'm sure with your vast education and linguistic skills, not to mention your winning personality (yeah right) you will find a suitable human or otherwise to fill the obvious hole in your life.

With my best regards for you future

Anonymous said...

HOW DARE YOU! I thought you were a good person! I am surely above you in intellect and do not deserve to be ridiculed in such a coarse manner! You need to learn to speak politically correct.

It's your loss you arrogant and horrid person. I will never pursue you again. You do not deserve a better life! I was willing to take you in and keep you safe from ALL other men!

Yours forNEVER,

Anonymous said...

My dearest, darling, beautiful and delicate flower Frooples,

I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I do not know what came over me again. It's just that I want so badly to treat you well and show you the life that I'm sure you have never had.

Please give me a second chance again. I promise you will learn to love me in time.

Yours forever and ever and beyond,
Anoneemuz Hansen III

JijiN3k0 said...

Wow- This be some deep sh*t.

Anonymous said...

Hey Kadhine,

yer teeths iz reddy but i aint gin y'all my addres becuz i don no y'all. I don wan no freek show'n up on my dorstep. yu bess sen the money tuh my po box and i'll drop the teeths for yous. y'all kin sen it tuh po box number 23480 green swamp road back uh the bayou street post office. That thurs where yuh kin sen it. i only take cash

Big Early

Kadhine said...

Hey Early-Werly,

I can't wait to get the teeth!
I understand you not trusting us and not wanting to give us your address.

So how about I come down to the ...

Anyhow, I'll come to that address you gave and you can meet me there.
We can conclude our business there.

Looking forward to meeting you and my new teeth!

lind.baba said...

So Earl,
Since you're finished with Kadhine's teeth, can you start mine?